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    punching her in the face and dragging her across the floor. 's five-year run, a plethora of ship names emerged, but only one appears to have stood the test of time.


    For dating my daughter

    How honest should we be with our children when that honesty fosters new fears?

    Dawson doesn't claim to have the answers, but watching him wrestle with the questions is more satisfying anyway." —Dan Kois, , Mike Dawson uses visual storytelling to offer original, compelling, and funny commentary on fatherhood, gun rights, the gender of toys, and staying sane in a world where school shootings and Disney princesses get equal billing.

    LOST CHAPTER: Read the excerpt "That big Ten Commandments monument has been removed from the courthouse in Alabama.

    It's been replaced, I believe, with eight simple rules for dating my daughter." "The book 8 Simple Rules for Dating my Teenage Daughter is hysterically funny and universally entertaining.

    As time passed, you learned to pick up your dates before the cocktail hour, before her dad was feeling extra social and likely to utter the worst words you'd ever heard: "Sit down, son. He meant: "Have I ever bored your folks with pointless stories at lousy holiday parties?

    A New York Times bestseller, the book has proven popular for parents, teenagers, and former teenagers everywhere.

    In most cases, it was like shaking hands with a smiling canned ham. The more impressive the girl, the worse her father. I mean, aren't parents the most indecipherable of all human beings?

    If your date was Goldilocks, her dad looked like Shrek, big, green and warty. "Of course, that's not exactly what her father meant.

    So, big, green and warty, I returned to the struggling little fishing village of Santa Monica for another boyfriend inspection.

    The lovely and patient older daughter has been seeing this guy, who hasn't been dad-certified yet. Told me he's originally from the suburbs of New York, which set off all sorts of alarms. Always bright, always aggressive, yet they have the mannerisms of small animals that find themselves trapped in your garage.

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